BeeKay's Blog

crafts, food, makeup, clothes, shoes, books, cats, life

You Know What Else?

on August 13, 2017

Today sucks.

I am so motivated to get my crafts out into the world but have encountered barriers to entry, namely:

  • housework
  • yardwork
  • lack of shipping boxes
  • fear of rejection

I love my house—don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing and I wish we did more with it (ie, decorating and entertaining but that’s an entirely different subject and I will blog about it later)—but man oh man oh Manischewitz keeping it up is no fun (I will say Christmas 2005 was pretty sweet though).

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I know people who say they love cleaning. I wish that trait were contagious: I could really use it now. Ditto yardwork but quite frankly the spousal-unit does the lion’s share of it. I do all the weed whacking, which takes all of half an hour (45 minutes if the steps get to me) but I prefer to do it later in the day when there’s more shade. We had Motta’s Country Gardens and Landscaping clean out our beds (we could not decide on plants but as long as everything was cleaned up, it was all good).

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I also have to clean the front porch off as it is Aragog Central and I just can’t have that. Too many spiders just creep me out. Ick, even thinking about it is giving me the creepy crawlies.

Shipping boxes, I want only a few rather than a bundle of 25 just in case the ones I have my eye on won’t work as well as I’d like them to. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Fear of rejection, though, is the biggest barrier to anything and everything I undertake. It is a normal natural fear but it really seems to get out of hand for me at times. I suffer from mild anxiety and depression (on meds and in therapy for it) but jeez Louise, it can get utterly ridiculous. For instance, I have a baby girl gift that’s WAY overdue but “OMG what if I mess up the slip stitching?” Way to get it to her before she graduates college, right? If you get it done soon, the dress will still fit, remember you sized it large just to be safe? And handmade is always charming.


Ditto on a get well gift but “OMG you should have sent it earlier!” Guess what? The things that are in it aren’t perishable and will come in handy at some point in time so shut it, right?


People are going to get these bowls for free, just to provide their opinion on the overall quality—and they’re all going to say “these bowls suck.”


(he was only saying it to be nice, he probably threw it out)

This is what I deal with on an almost daily basis. I wasn’t always like this, but I firmly believe what caused this (and the catalyst for it) but you will have to wait for my memoirs to come out to learn the real deal.

You’d think I would want to make things easier on myself but clearly I do not, therefore anxiety and depression diagnosis, therefore therapy.





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